Why “I Should Be Able to Handle This” Is One of the Biggest Barriers to Mental Health Support
March 24, 2026 | Laural Lawler, MS, PCLC
We often tell ourselves that we should just be able to handle it; that text from a parent with a reminder for the third time today, that coworker who shoots nasty looks across the room, the weight of deciding where to go to college, or who to spend your life with, living in a rural place where no one gets it, just to name a few.
I couldn’t tell you the number of times that self-reliance felt like the only option. It felt like, if I just grit my teeth and show up, or if I just take one more deep breath, I’ll feel a lot better. Yes, both of those things worked temporarily, but I still felt like this diluted version of myself because I was doing it so alone. I wasn’t mentally there even when I truly wanted to be.
The job, school, and responsibilities were calling for my attention more than the anxiety was. The guilt and shame were creating this spiral that if I didn’t do everything else, then I was a complete failure. The shame often sounds like “you’re doing a terrible job” or “it’s no one else’s burden.” The shame eats away at your pride and your happiness, and let’s be real, no one wants to feel that way. All the while creating an internal friction that leads to anxiety, worry, burnout, and feelings of not being “good enough.”
But what if “good enough” is actually good enough?
Good enough to get a B on a test.
Good enough to show up to work/school when you’re burnt out and have no motivation.
Good enough to care for your child or yourself after a night of no sleep.
Good enough to come home from a long day of work and still spend time with your family.
There may not always be a ‘right time’ to start therapy or seek mental health support. Maybe in a rural community, it’s not even an option to find help. Those of us who grow up in really small places don’t feel like there’s any other choice but to rub the metaphorical dirt in the emotional wound. I can guarantee that there are options for you, too!
Let me reassure you that you’ve handled it well enough to get yourself to this point, and now is a great time to extend a hand and ask someone to talk about it with you. A place where they can take the parts of you that are ‘good enough’ and help you expand them so that you feel a strength in yourself in a new and freeing way that no longer isolates you and shames you into doing it alone.
What if you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be present? as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.
The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.
You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.